Tommorrow

Tomorrow, I take the first step to see if I am eligible for a Hybrid Cochlear Implant.  After a two hour appointment with an audiologist, I will know if I am eligible for the next step.  I don't know what the next step will be at this point.  However, at some point,  there will be dealing with the insurance company.  According to what I found online the  insurance company is reviewing their policy on implants tomorrow.  One can hope they will not be the stumbling block in this process.

I don't remember ever not being hearing impaired so, why would I want to change now?  I have successfully made it through public school and university.  I have worked over 30 years and I did well in my field. My husband and I raised two boys,  took care of my mother-in-law, and helped keep a roof over my brother's head.  But, at some point it all became too much.  I am now on disability for a variety of reasons including my hearing impairment.

I  tend not to wear my hearing aids during the day when I am home.  I am comfortable with the silence. Then again, there is no one home but me now.  My mother-in-law, Hattie, passed. My brother moved to Minnesota. My youngest son and my husband work during the day. My oldest son moved out years ago.

But, I am not always alone. When I am with people-- and wearing my aids-- I am aware I miss too much of the conversation.  Speech reading only carries me so far in a conversation.  I have to be able to see the person talking, they have to enunciate, and they have to be in a frequency that I hear.  Thus, children and females are usually hard to follow as they are usually in the higher frequencies.  In the car, especially at night, it is impossible to carry on conversation with a group of people.  I do best with face-to-face conversations with males in well lit places.

Frankly, I am just tired of missing out on conversations, tired of asking for repeats, and tired of sitting in silence while the conversations flows around me. I am ready to expand my horizon again and hearing well is part of that plan.